Nobody Falls into Sexual Immorality by Mistake

Nobody falls into sexual immorality by mistake. The truth is, we lack discipline, discernment, and self-control.To stay pure, to walk in truth, to be faithful—it all starts in the heart. Scripture makes this clear:

“But Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself” (Daniel 1:8).

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust” (Job 31:1).

“How can I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God” (Genesis 39:9).

“Anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

The battle begins long before the act. It starts with the thoughts we entertain, the boundaries we fail to set, and the decisions we justify.

A Personal Encounter

I once had an experience that confirmed this truth.

I was invited to be a backup singer for a gospel artist. After the performance—well, I wouldn’t call it a ministration—the lead singer asked for my number. He casually asked if my “man” would mind if he called me later. I thought nothing of it and assumed it was about another music opportunity.

A few days later, I received a message: “I really like you. I was scared of saying so because I was scared of your man.”

I had heard stories like this before—pastors crossing boundaries, choir members engaging in secret affairs, instrumentalists living double lives. But to experience it firsthand? It was disappointing.

How do people mix the unholy with the holy? How can someone stand before a righteous God, lift up “holy hands,” and yet be so comfortable living in sin? Is it because, “The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love” (Psalm 103:8)? Do we take His mercy for granted?

I didn’t respond immediately. Instead, I sought counsel from an older colleague I respected. He laughed and said, “This guy has no idea who he’s messing with. By the time you’re done with him, he’ll think twice next time.” That statement struck me. He knew my Christian values well. Even as a Muslim, he understood that I wouldn’t tolerate such nonsense. I realized I had an opportunity—not just to shut this down, but to send a message.

I prayed for Wisdom

When I finally responded, I did so with grace and wisdom. I thanked him for “liking” me and told him I often have that effect on people. Then, I gave him a glimpse into my world—how peaceful and God-fearing my home is. I mentioned my husband and children, subtly reinforcing my commitment. Then, I shifted the conversation. I expressed ways I could support his ministry professionally—offering help with recording, publishing, and networking. And just before I ended the message, I added, “Say hello to your wife and newborn baby for me.”

Yes. He was married. With a newborn.

I can only imagine his shock when he read that final line. But I’m sure he got the message loud and clear.

The Power to Say No

Many people claim they “fell” into sin, as if it happened by accident. But sin is always a choice. The real issue isn’t temptation—it’s a lack of discipline, discernment, and self-control. Jesus taught us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:13). Temptation will come, but we have the power to resist. The problem is, many of us choose to stay in situations we should run from.

The Bible doesn’t say to debate with temptation. It says, “Flee from all appearances of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22). For example, when Joseph was tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay to explain why it was wrong. He didn’t negotiate. He ran. And that’s exactly what we must do.

If you’re struggling with temptation, ask yourself:

Are you entertaining things you should be avoiding?

Have you set boundaries to protect your purity?

Are you making excuses instead of taking a stand?

God has given us the wisdom to make the right choices: “Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe” (Proverbs 2:11).

My admonition: Don’t let momentary pleasure cost you eternal consequences. Run when you need to. Set boundaries before it’s too late. Walk in wisdom, and honor God with your choices.

If this spoke to you, share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s talk about it.